The Magazine
Written by Lady Cat





CHAPTER 1

For weeks the WWE had been besieged with faxes, e-mails, and letters from all over the US and Europe. Female fans were becoming irate at the WWE, protesting the company cared only for the male fans, catering to their whims and fancies with posters and DVDs of the divas. "When are we going to have posters of the male wrestlers? Why can't you do the same for us?"

Vince had never taken into consideration the female audience, looking only to the 18-24 year old market. His so-called "spies" had warned him for the past month but he had never taken it seriously, until now. Vince sat looking at the mound of paper piled high on his desk. He had come in that morning expecting everything to be just as it always has. Never had he expected the mess he was looking at now. He called his secretary in. "When the hell did all this come in?"

"For the past couple of weeks. But that's not all. The FanWWE site has also be besieged with emails. We've gotten so many we've had to close down the site until we can get caught up. The fax machine has broken down twice from the faxes we've received. We stopped counting. The mail room is receiving bags of mail every day. Mrs. McMahon's office is piled high as well as JR's office. Everyone has been so busy opening letters and retrieving faxes we've haven't had time to do our own work."

CHAPTER 2

Vince plopped in his chair and took a deep breath. Vince was moving the piles around when the phone rang. "Yeah."

"Vince, it's J.R."

"From the tone in your voice I take it you found your office the same as I found mine. Meet me in the conference room in twenty minutes."

He left the office and walked down the short hall to Linda's office. He entered, finding her doing pretty much the same thing he had done earlier. She had a few in her hand, scanning them. She looked up. "Good morning, dear." Seeing the scowl on his face, a slight grin appeared. "I take it you don't like the new décor in your office."

"Very funny. I come back to find it looking like a giant waste basket. Then I'm informed by my secretary that this has been going on for the past couple of weeks. The fan site had to be shut down and the mail room can't keep up."

"I've managed to read a few," she said. "It seems the female population is very upset about the way you cater to the…" she picked up one of the letters, "balls of your male audience."

"JR just called me with the same situation. I told him to meet me in the Board Room in twenty minutes."

JR was waiting when both McMahons entered. Linda had brought along a few of the letters and gave each of the men a couple to read. "I've read quite a few others during this past week. I also had the staff read the faxes and emails," Linda said. "In short, they all say the same thing. Do the same for us as you do the men. And frankly, I agree with them."

Vince's brows shot up. "You agree with them?"

Linda nodded. "Vince, you forget the women make up a big part of your audience of fans. They are just as interested in wrestling as the men are and know more than you think. I think you would be surprised at the percentage who pay to go to our shows."

Vince turned to JR. "What do you think?"

JR was quiet a bit. "I always look at the audience before I make my entrance. I have to agree with Linda on this. Women do make up a huge part of the audience."

Vince leaned back in his chair. A poster magazine made up of male wrestlers. He rubbed his chin a bit then picked up the phone. "Shane, come to the board room."

In ten minutes, Shane was sitting at the table and was filled in on what they had been discussing. "I'm not surprised," he said. "I've known for quite sometime. In fact, I've been studying the sales profit statements. Dad, you've been missing the boat on this for a long time." Vince sat up in his chair and pursed his lips. "You, too." Shane nodded. "I can even figure who they want too."

"Okay, tell me."

"First would be Taker and Kane. They have the biggest and broadest fan base according to what I've found in looking on the web. Next would be Nash, Trips, Lesnar, Rock, Edge, and Jericho."

Vince took a deep breath and exhaled. "That's eight of my biggest stars. How big a magazine would you suggest we do?"

"Why don't we do a small announcement on the web site," Linda suggested. "WWE plans, by popular opinion, on doing a poster magazine of male wrestlers. We list the male wrestlers and have the fans vote for as many as they want."

JR and Shane nodded in agreement. Vince drummed his fingers on the table. "Okay. Shane, you take care of the announcement and the list. We'll keep the list on the site for say, three weeks. That should be enough time."

Chapter 3

Although he had given the assignment to Shane to set up the magazine list on the web site, he was still thinking it was going to be a waste of time and hoped it would turn out to be a bust.

A week later, the girls in the anything-Undertaker group found a strange email on their list from Bonnie. After reading, the lines were hot and heavy with excitement.

"Is this for real?" Jade typed. "You mean they finally listened to us?"

"I got this straight from the WWE site," Bonnie replied. "Word for word. The list is up also. You can choose as many as you want. BTW, Taker and Kane are the first two listed."

"Ahhhhh! I'm on my way there right now!" Jade said.

"Holy shit!" B said. "I know my two husbands have to be there. I'm off to vote!"

"Hot Damn!" Cat typed. "You know who I'll be picking!"

Stonewall had signed on. "OMG! The thought of seeing Kane in nothing but shorts, wet shorts even… Someone give me a drooling bucket! Fast!"

Willie was fanning herself in her apartment. She had read Stonewall's comment. "Stone, same here! Oh to think….I can't speak……!!"

Sharon, who was still recuperating from a recent illness, had finally been able to check her messages. Her mind thought to how Kane would look in nothing but bikini briefs, those nipples showing.

And so it went with the rest of the list. Everyone saying they were going to the website to vote for their favorites for the magazine. The rest of the internet groups were just as excited.

At the main offices in Stanford, Shane had a couple of his people keeping an eye on the voting results. It was just as he predicted, Taker and Kane were leading by a wide margin. Rock was third, Nash fourth, Trips and Edge tied for fifth. Close behind were Lesnar, RVD, Goldberg, Matt Hardy, Booker T, and Jericho.

After the second week, Vince had Shane report on how the poll was going. "Dad, it's going just like I knew it would. I have a couple of my people watching the site. Over 20,000 hits in two weeks. I predict at least another 10,000-20,000 by the end of next week" He saw a look of disappointment in Vince's face. "What's the matter? Disappointed that it isn't more?"

"No. I wasn't expecting this kind of response."

"Wasn't expecting, or hoping it would bust?"

Vince was mumbling to himself when he found Linda in his office. "So, what's the news?" Linda asked.

Vince chose not to respond. Linda started grinning. "Oh, so it's going better than you hoped it would. The female fans are speaking out. You can't ignore it, dear. I think its time to call in our publishing department and start putting together layout ideas." She raised her brows.

Growling, Vince got on the phone and asked the head of the magazine publication to come to his office, and to have a sketch pad ready. For the next couple of hours, various ideas on layouts were tossed back and forth. Finally they came up with at the cover for the special edition. It would be another week before the results were final.

The week went by fast. Web site hits were coming in more and more. By the end of the final week, over 50,000 hits were recorded. Shane took the data and had his statistician tally the results.

Taker - 49,500
Kane - 49,500
Rock - 42,000
Nash - 41,542
Trips - 40,756
Edge - 40,721
Lesnar -40,530
RVD - 40,156
Booker T - 39,652
Matt Hardy - 39,524
Jericho - 39,179
Goldberg - 39,000

Chapter 4

Shane gave the results to Vince as soon as they had been tallied. Vince scanned over the figures - 50,000 votes. He shook his head.

"It came out just like I thought it would," Shane said. "You can't deny it now, dad. The women have spoken."

Vince gave the results back to Shane. "Since you're so hopped up about this, you can handle getting the magazine ready for publication. You have complete control."

Once Shane had left, he raised his arms in the air and did a silent hallelujah. Linda was walking down the hall and saw Shane's jubilation. Shane let her read the results. "Dad put me in complete charge of every aspect. I think right now he's sore at having to eat just a bit of crow."

Linda snickered. "It'll do him some good. Keep me posted as progress develops."

Shane spent the rest of the day working with publications on the layout and placement of each man. The editor suggested that perhaps a group poster would make a good addition to the issue, making it the first thing the women would see. Shane thought it was a good idea. As the layout progressed, Shane wondered how he was going to sell the idea to the chosen "centerfolds." He knew of couple of them had big egos and would be the first to chomp at the bit of showing themselves off. The rest he wasn't too sure about.

It was mutually agreed that the shooting location be kept a secret. If anyone ever found out there would have to be a ton of security surrounding it, and it would spoil the surprise. Dubious doubts were cast also when Shane mentioned letting the women choose what they would like to see or not see their men wear. His spies had informed him that the women were already bandying ideas back and forth.

________________

Several days later D'ville went into the WWE site to read up on the progress, if any, on the "special" magazine. Not finding any right away, she went to JR's commentary to read through. About halfway she found a small blurb concerning the special poster issue. She copied the article and sent it to the list. The item stated that plans were underway for a special edition poster magazine. More information would be told on the next RAW.

Upon reading the girls right away commented. "No one had better touch that TV or they will be missing some fingers," Willie said. The girls laughed and wholeheartedly agreed.

Women across the internet, especially in the AU group, were glued to their TV sets Monday, waiting for RAW to begin. Halfway through the show, Shane made an appearance and headed to Lawler's and JR's table.

As usual, Lawler did his kissing up routine. "Shane, what's this about a poster magazine of male wrestlers?" he asked.

Shane explained how it came about and what progress had been made. When asked who would be in the magazine, Shane replied that the names would come later.

Lawler was doing his part to the tee. "I can't see Vince going along with this?"

"He's the one who suggested it and left complete control to me."

"Shane, was my name mentioned on the list? I mean, who wouldn't want to have a poster of THE KING. JR, what do you think?

Shane and JR turned their faces to keep from laughing out loud. Finally, JR was able to straightened his face. " No comment."

Chapter 5

It hadn't taken long after the initial announcement for word to reach the locker room. The men were completely taken by surprise. Everyone knew they were on the list, but none of them knew how the voting would go as Shane had kept the voting progress a secret. It was after the first two weeks that Shane went in to see the editor about doing two more posters for the magazine. "My sources tell me a lot of the women want to see Shawn Michaels in it." The editor replied that was no problem. Then Shane added the real kicker. "I came up with another plan. Why don't we make the overall vote getter the centerfold."

The editor didn't know what to think. This magazine wasn't going to be just a photo shoot like the divas, this was going to be all out. "A centerfold? Shane are you sure?" Shane nodded. "The women will eat it up."

When this got back to the locker room, two of the men, whose egos were already inflated, inflate even more, and any one who watches wrestling should know who they are - Jericho and Trips. The banter between the two of them was making the rest of the locker room sick.

"Hey, slope nose, what makes you think you got a chance?" Jericho laughed.

"Hey, I'm practically a part of the family, remember?" Trips snorted.

"No comment," Jericho sneered.

It was with a huge sigh of relief when they left the locker room. "Man, those two were a pain in the ass before, now it's worse," Glen shook his head. "They would drive a dead man to drink." Mark, Kevin, and Booker T were there.

Mark gave him a sidelong glance. "Sorry, no pun intended," Glen added.

"I'm kind of surprised Vince went for this," Mark said.

"From what I heard, he came in one morning and found his office full of letters. He couldn't even find his phone. He met with JR and Linda, who told him straight out it was time he recognized the female audience," Glen said.

"So this is what he comes up with. What next?" Kevin asked.

"Would be kind of interesting to know who our female fans are voting for," Booker T said.

"But the winner be the centerfold? If Jericho or Trips ever wins that…. I don't even want to think about it," Kevin moaned.

By this time the announcement of the centerfold had hit the internet. The wires were burning like crazy.

"A centerfold of the winner! Hot damn!!" Dville had found the announcement and had sent it to the list.

"My hubby would be the natural choice," Jade cooed. "After all he is Big Sexy."

"Not so fast," B said. "Remember, my hubby has the people's strudel."

"No fair, B. You got two on the list. I only have one," Bonnie said.

"Yeah, but lately he's been a big pain-in-the-a**," Anne said.

"I don't know about you girls, but Taker should be the centerfold," Cat added.

"Well, what about my Matt? He's just as sexy as anybody," Anne said.

"No, it should be Kane," Willie piped in.

The emails went on and on as to who should be the centerfold. Shane was having a field day reading the emails. Eventually talk went back as to what the guys should be photographed in.

"I would so love to have my Matt wearing nothing but his belt," Anne gleefully said.

"Well, I for one, sorry Kev, would love to see Taker in nothing but leather chaps and leaning back on his Harley." A chorus of "yeah baby" followed her comment. "But for me personally, I would love to see Kev in a black thong, his hair blowing, sitting on a rock with his legs wide open."

"Uh Uh, Kane in wet shorts with a trace of a hard on," Willie sighed. "Oh hell, better get a drool bucket."

"And don't forget his nipples," Sharon added.

"OMG! Stonewall fainted.

"We haven't heard from Kal yet. Kal, you out there?" B asked.

"Yeah, just busy trying to catch up on what's going on."

"How would you like to see Jericho?" B asked.

"For the magazine. Hmm, hadn't thought about it. Oh hell, Jericho in anything or nothing. Makes no difference to me."

Shane read through these last comments. Taker with nothing but chaps, leaning back on his Harley? He doubted if Taker would expose that much of him, but he did come have an idea. He let out a long breath on Kane. The wet red shorts were a good idea, but showing a slight hard on? No comment. Kevin in a black thong. Possible keeper there. Booker T. Didn't find any. Okay, he would have one of his staff look through the photos as well as the rest of the group.

Now to get word to the winners, especially the centerfold winner. Actually there were two. He had his secretary type up individual memos to each wrestler, and an extra note to the two winners. This was going better than he expected.

Chapter 6

Shane sat at his desk, the just finished memos in front of him in sealed envelopes. Eleven envelopes were to be delivered by one of his staff to each of the wrestlers at one of the house shows. The two he had separated from the others he was going to deliver himself.

Shane flew out the next day to Nashville. Glen and Mark were doing signings at the arena the day before the house show. Shane had JR inform them he wanted to see them but were not to tell anyone.

Reactions were varied somewhat among the rest as they read their memos in private.

Rock - well he was who he was. "So they want to see the People's Strudel," he thought, and cocked his brow.

Edge was surprise, having been out for quite some time and had only recently returned.

Nash was speechless.

Lesnar was perplexed. He decided he needed to work out and think it over.

RVD just replied, "Cool."

Booker T - One wants to say he did a spinnerooni but no one knows for sure if he did or not.

Matt - "Interesting," he thought.

Goldberg - big question mark.

Trips and Jericho each puffed up. Both were disappointed that their memo hadn't mentioned anything else.

Shawn Michaels grinned. "The Heart Break Kid does it again."

Shane handed Mark and Glen their envelopes. He watched their faces as they read. Mark was the first to reply.

"This is a joke, right? Me, a centerfold?"

"No joke. Out of 50,000 votes, you two were tied as the top vote getters."

"This may sound like a stupid question, but how are we to be posed?" Glen asked.

"I've decided I'll go by what the women want," he replied.

"Uh, just what do they want?" Mark asked.

Shane took a deep breath. "How should I say this. Well, Glen, some have suggested you wearing tight, wet red shorts. I mean very short and very wet. They want to see your 'package" outlined, shall I say, and saluting. Others prefer you butt naked and saluting."

Glen began flushing, from the neck all the way to top of his head. "My package saluting!?" His mouth dropped open wide.

Shane turned to Mark. "As for you. Uh…" he hesitated. "The great majority want you in nothing at all, leaning back on your Harley, legs open."

Chapter 7

Mark looked at the memo, his mouth open in utter shock. "I'm to be naked as hell and showing balls to everyone?"

"Yep. See, for quite some time I've had spies on the fan lists, most of which concern you and Glen. These fan lists are composed of 98% women. One of the things they frequently talk about, and that you includes you also, Glen, are your 'packages.' And at times they've even gone so far as to highlight that particular area, especially when you guys appear and your clothes fit rather snug, and they can see a faint outline. Believe me, those women have sharp eyes when it comes to you two, and also with the rest of the group as well."

Shane reaching into his briefcase and gave them printouts his spies gave him. Mark and Glen looked the printouts over, then gave them back to Shane. "Well?"

"Can we think about it?" Glen asked.

"What is there to think about?" Shane replied. "They want you, period. They want to see the real thing."

"Oh, you expect us to do it, no ifs, ands, or buts," Mark said.

"Why not?"

"Why not?!" Glen yelled.

"Has anyone else agreed?" Mark asked, hoping to hear a no.

"I know of two for sure," Shane replied. "Trips and Jericho."

"Should have known," Glen snorted.

"Who else is to be in this supposed magazine?" Mark asked.

"Well, besides you, Glen, Trips, and Jericho, there's Nash, Edge, Booker T, Lesnar, Rock, Goldberg, Matt Hardy, and RVD. And we just added Shawn Michaels. A group poster all of you will be in it. The magazine will be nothing more than posters, no bios, no columns, just posters of you."

"A group poster of us, huh. Did they say what they wanted us wearing in this group photo?" Glen snorted.

"No."

"Other than Trips and Jericho, have you heard from the others?"

"Not yet, but I'm confident they'll go along with it. So now what."

"Not until you hear from the rest do we, at least me, agree," Mark said.

"Same here," Glen added.

Shane needed to get the photo shoot done and finalize the layout at least a month before Wrestlemania, which was only 3 months away.

Chapter 8

The wrestlers had a few days off, and Shane asked that they meet at the headquarters to give their consent. Everyone arrived on time except Mark and Glen, who were late as their flights had been delayed.

"Well, guys, you've had a few days to think about it. I'm not forcing you. The decision is entirely up to you."

"And this is what our women fans wanted?" Nash asked.

Shane nodded.

Shawn was first. "Count me in."

"Me, too," Rock said.

"I'm game," Edge said.

"It's a go," Matt nodded.

"RVD?"

"Cool," was his only reply.

Shane looked at Booker T, who responded, "I'm in."

Lesnar nodded silently.

Nash said "Okay."

"Goldberg?"

Goldberg said, "Yeah."

Shane hadn't had to ask Jericho and Trips, they had given him their answer the day after. He looked at Mark and Glen, who were sitting behind the rest. "What's your answer?"

"Alright, I'm in," Glen replied.

"Me, too," Mark said.

"Great!" Shane rubbed his hands. "We plan to put the magazine out in 3 months, in time for Wrestlemania 20. I've been in touch with the photographer and editor as to the location. We came up with several places, but too many people would be around. How do the Cayman Islands sound? They have plenty of private beaches."

The wrestlers nodded okay.

"Arrangements have been made to go by private plane and arrive at night. The plane will park in a hangar. Two vans will be waiting to take you to the hotel, which has already been booked, and which has been instructed to keep it strictly confidential."

"How long is this going to take?" Nash asked.

"Hopefully we should be in and out of there in under a week," Shane replied. "We meet back here one week from today."

--------------------------------------------

A week later everyone arrived and boarded the private plane, which was parked inside a hangar. It was late afternoon when everyone was aboard. A couple of days before, the photographer had left, flying down with the equipment, along with the costume and makeup people, who all knew to keep it a secret.

Mark and Glen were the last to board and had settled in their seats. "I feel like a complete jackass," Mark said as he leaned back.

"You can't back out now," Glen said. "You agreed and so did I."

"Yeah, I know I did. I just don't feel like exposing myself completely."

"I don't think Shane is going to have us bare it all. Just give a hint," Glen said with a crooked grin.

Chapter 9

When Shane had first sent out the announcement of the poster magazine, he had the publicity department also set up a web site which announced a contest, the winner would be brought to the Caymans to work on the photo shoot. He made sure his spies got the announcement to the lists. The winner would arrive the day after the wrestlers. Every woman who had voted entered the contest. The entry was a few lines stating who was their favorite wrestler and why. It had taken the whole department at least a week to go over the entries, some were sent by email, others by post, and choose a winner.

Willie had sent in her entry. She figured she didn't have much of a chance of winning, but she thought there was no harm in trying. Imagine her shock two weeks later to find an envelope from the WWE office. With shaking hands she tore it open. Inside was the letter and plane ticket. Willie fell on the couch in shock. She reread the letter over and over till at least her brain registered what she was reading. She was chosen as the winner and would be going to the Islands to work with the photo shoot. The last paragraph stated she was not to tell anyone the location, only that she would be involved with the session. It also stated that Shane McMahon himself would greet her in the lobby of the hotel with further instructions. She immediately got on the phone and called her sister, Betty.

B had just gotten home when her phone rang. She barely got the word hello out when she heard screaming on the other end, forcing her to hold it at arm's length. She knew it was her sister as no one else screamed like a banshee. "I WON! I WON!" was all she heard.

Finally Betty was able to put the receiver to her ear. "Willie, calm down! Now, what is this you're saying? You won?"

"B, I won the contest! I get to see the guys pose for the magazine!"

"What contest?"

"Remember the contest that I told you about?"

B's jaw dropped as it hit her just what Willie was talking about. "You're kidding! You won?"

"Yes! I got the letter today along with the plane ticket! I leave out in a week!"

"Damn! Where?"

A bit of hesitation at first. "Sorry B, I can't tell you. The letter says I am not to say where. I can only say that I'm to be involved with the photo session. It also says that Shane himself will meet me with further instructions. The guys won't even know."

"Can't you even give me a hint?"

"No, but I don't see why I can't e-mail everybody on the list and keep them up-to-date on what's going on."

"Shit!" B responded disappointed. "Well,, at least you can do that."

Responses were immediate as soon as Willie told the list.

"Congrats, sis! Have a good time!" Sandra replied. "Don't get too excited!"

"You lucky stiff!" Dville was next.

"Hey, don't get any ideas about our men!" Jade said laughing.

"Keep us posted, especially how they pose!" Cat exclaimed.

"I promise I'll email you every day."

Chapter 10

Willie arrived the day after the wrestlers. Imagine her surprise upon seeing Shane at the airport instead at the lobby as was originally intended. She went over to him and introduced herself. After shaking hands, they picked up her luggage and went out the front door to a waiting limo. On the way to the hotel, he explained to her that she would be assisting on site, but she was not to let the wrestlers know who she was. He asked if she had told anyone the location to which she replied she had not. She did ask wouldn't it be odd for the wrestlers to see her arrive in a limo. Shane said that they were all down at the location so none would see her.

As soon as they arrived, Willie went to her room to email the girls, making sure she did not say where, only that she had arrived safely and would keep them informed. She kept dropping her clothes as she unpacked. "All that beef on the beach!" She took a deep breath. How was she going to manage to keep from drooling, especially when she would be near Kane.

She went downstairs to the small restaurant to at least try to eat something, plus get a drink to calm her nerves. Just as she was about to enter, Shane called her over to a small corner, where he was sitting with six other people - the photographer, 3 equipment technicians, one make-up, and one wardrobe coordinator. Shane introduced her to everyone. He told Willie they were going over the final plan and that they would begin that afternoon. As it was eleven, he told everyone to go on ahead and eat, then go to the site immediately after. The wrestlers would arrive around 2:30.

After lunch, Willie and the rest of the crew were driven to the location. Several pieces of equipment had already been set up, plus beach umbrellas and furniture, coolers of cold beverages, and plenty of sun screen.

Willie was shown everything and what she would be doing. The wrestlers arrived on two separate carts. They wore tank tops, shorts, and sandals. Willie was already having problems keeping herself under control. All those muscled arms, legs, and chests, and they hadn't started yet.

Shane said he would be back later to check up on how things were going, then left in one of the carts. The photographer looked at his list. "Goldberg, Hardy. You two first. The changing room is over there." . A few minutes later, they came from behind the screen. Upon seeing them, Willie took a deep breath. If Anne and B could see them, they would faint. The thongs were just enough to cover (barely). When the group saw how little and tight the thongs were, some shifted in their chairs.

"That's it?" Glen whispered. "OOHHH boy." And rolled his eyes.

Part 2

Home

E-mail Lady B at taker213@yahoo.com.

Except where otherwise noted, this website and most of it's contents © copyright by Dancer Productions, Inc. 1999-2003.