I wonder where your heart is
'Cause it sure don't feel like it's here
Sometimes I think you wish
That I would just disappear
Have I got it all wrong
Have you felt this way long
Are you already gone
Do you feel lonely
When you're here by my side
Does the sound of freedom
Echo in your mind
Do you wish you were by yourself
Or that I was someone else
Anyone else
Where would you be
If you weren't here with me
Where would you go
If you were single and free
Who would you love
Would it be me
Where would you be
I don't wanna hold you back
No I don't wanna slow you down
I don't wanna make you feel
Like you are tied up and bound
'Cause that's not what love's about
If there's no chance we can work it out
Tell me now
Oh, tell me tell me now
Where would you be
If you weren't here with me
Where would you go
If you were single and free
Who would you love
Would it be me
Where would you be
Have I become the enemy
Is it hard to be yourself
In my company
Where would you be
If you weren't here with me
Where would you go
If you were single and free
Who would you love
Would it be me
Where would you be
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~
She reached across the table causally, touching
his fingers lightly as he stared down at the
table. He touched them lightly before turning his
hand to squeeze her hand lightly.
"You okay?" she asked quietly. When he only
nodded she barely stifled the sigh that escaped her
lips.
"Vince, giving you the weekend off?" she asked.
He grunted an answer but when she tugged his hand
he reluctantly dragged his eyes up to meet hers.
"Told him I had some things to take care of." He
explained. After the brief declaration, they
both fell into an uneasy silence again.
Cressa glances up at the man across the table,
noticing his attention was again diverted across
the room. Sighing inwardly, she cleared her throat
to get his attention; when he turned to her, "Why
don't you go hang with the guys tonight. I
really need to talk to Jake about those shot photos."
She offered.
He shook his head quickly, "No, I really want . .
. ." Cressa shook her head at him; rising from
the table she gathered her bag. "Just go. Have a
good time." She repeated.
"You sure you don't mind?" he asked, rising from
the booth as well.
Cressa turned to him before turning toward the
door. She smiled up at him, when he reached out to
touch her cheek she leaned into his touch.
"It's fine." She assured him, hiding her eyes so
he couldn't see she was lying. She glanced
toward the bar where Glenn and Brian's tag partner
Brian Clark were currently drinking together. "It's
just I don't get to see some of them very often
since the roster split." Brian explained.
"It's fine." She repeated. "Go. Have a good
time. I'll see you later." Brian leaned over
slightly he kissed just below her ear, as he held her
against him. "You're the best." He whispered.
"Have a good time." She replied, in a voice she
hoped didn't sound bitter. Cress walked through
the bar doors and immediately walked into a wall of
flesh.
"Whoa, little one. The bar on fire?"
Cressa looked up and into the face of Brian's
friend, The Undertaker, Mark Calloway. She smiled
slightly, "I'm fine." She replied quietly,
"Brian's inside." 'Taker merely angled his head as he
tried to look at her face. "You sure you're
okay?" he asked. Cressa jumped slightly when she felt
his knuckles brush across her cheek. She looked
up again, meeting his eyes, she put her hand over
his, "I'm fine. I'll see you later." She
replied, smiling slightly.
~~*~~
She closed the door behind her taking some small
satisfaction when it slammed shut.
She merely dropped the bag on the floor and
flopped on the bed to stare at the ceiling.
She was so frustrated with him right now. She
wished he'd just say something. He spent so little
time with her lately; Cressa just knew he wanted
to break up.
In the beginning, things had been so magical;
probably too perfect.
They'd met at a photo shot. She was a jr.
photographer then, waiting for the call to work the
live events. It was Kronik's promo pictures before
they were to debut. Brian had asked her to
dinner that night. They stayed out all night,
talking. She'd gone back to Stamford and he'd gone on
the road. The night Kronik had debuted she'd been
glued to the television. Brian started calling
everyday. Sending little presents. He went to
Stamford to see her on his days off.
When she'd gotten the promotion to go on the
road, Brian insisted she travel with him. Their
first night on the road together they'd become lovers
and not looked back.
Cressa knew he got ribbed about dating someone in
the business. Most of the guys had "rats" in
every town. She'd not given it a second thought.
She loved Brian insanely and until recently they'd
been very happy. He was a little uncomfortable
about dating someone so much younger than him at
first, but they'd gotten past it, at least she
thought so.
However, the past few weeks Brian had been
spending more and more time away from her. Staying
late at the gym, spending nights out with the boys;
which she'd never minded but they were becoming
more frequent. He'd even taken a few appearances
without telling her and had not been with her on
her last days off. Tonight not being the first
time she tried talking to him; to carefully broach
the subject but he always changed the subject or
avoided it all together.
She thought he might be seeing someone else but
she wasn't sure. A year was a long time for any
relationship. In the business it was longer than
some gimmicks.
"He's feeling trapped." She mused. "I guess it
was just a fling after all. So he can be with
someone he wouldn't get ribbed about."
Cress curled up on the bed facing the window to
look at the night sky. The memories of the past
twelve months running through her head, until she
fell asleep.
~~*~~
When she woke the sun was shining in her eyes.
She turned over, reaching out for Brian to realize
she was alone in bed. Cress sat up to see
everything as she had left it the night before. She
swung her legs over the side of her bed, putting
her head in her hands for a moment. Rising
quickly, she moved to her bags on the floor to make sure
all her things were in it. She quickly took out
Brian's things out her bag and threw them on the
bed. She turned back to the side table picking
up the phone.
"Yes, do you have any vacancies?" She asked when
the front desk answered. "A single. I need it
as soon as possible. Thank you, I'll be there in
a few minutes."
As Cressa hung up the phone, she heard the door
open quietly. She kept her back to him as she
heard him approach the bed.
"I was hoping . . . ."
"That I wouldn't notice you missing?" she asked,
her voice remarkable calm. "That you could get
in before I woke up?"
Cressa rose to her feet and turned to him; she
shrugged, snapping her fingers. "Woke up too early
this time." She mused, her voice laced with
sarcasm.
"This time?" Brian asked. "How many times have
you come in and I didn't notice because I was
asleep?" She asked.
"This is the first time." Brian asked, confused
at the question. "Cressa, what's going on?"
Cressa angled her head, trying to read his face,
"Who is she?" she asked quietly.
"Who is . . ." Brian asked, "She?" the
realization dawning on him, he moved across the room
quickly, but Cressa swatted his hands away, pushing
hard against his chest, shoving him away from her.
"Don't you dare touch me!" she snapped. "If you
wanted to break up, at least be man enough to say
so, instead of fucking around behind my back!"
Overcome by frustration and anger, she continued
without thinking, "I tired of trying to figure out
what the hell's wrong with you! You won't talk
to me. You don't even want to be around me
anymore. What the hell am I supposed to think?! And
I'm tired of being in this relationship when you
obviously don't want to anymore!"
"Cressa, I'm not cheating on you!" he roared,
"What is all this about?" "Where were you last
night?!" she demanded, not really wanting to know.
"Or every other time you tell me you're at the
gym or with the guys!"
Brian walked toward her and Cressa moved away
from him. "Don't come near me." She ordered. Brian
ignored her and only continued to her until he
laid his hands on her waist. Cressa struggled to
push his hands off her and move away from him.
Brian lifted her off her feet, placing her on the
dresser to be able to look in her eyes. Cressa
continued to shove at his hands trying to get
away. Brian took her hands firmly in his to keep
them from lashing out at him.
"Sit still." He barked, and Cressa stopped merely
from surprise. While she'd seen him lose his
temper several times, Brian had never raised his
voice to her.
Brian reached, running the back of his hand over
her cheek, wiping the tear that had slid down her
cheek. His hand slide to her neck, cupping it
gently he pulled her toward him.
Brian crushed his lips over her, raising his
other hand to run through her hair holding her still.
After only a moment of protest, Cressa placed her
hands on his shoulders. When she couldn't
breath, she gently pushed his away and Brian rested his
head against hers.
"Was that good-bye?" she asked, her voice full of
sorrow. Brian kissed her forehead, "Yes." He
answered quietly. Cressa shoved him away; raising
her hand she struck him hard across the face.
"You bastard." She seethed.
Brian ran his hand over his cheek, "I was saying
good-bye," he began, "to my girlfriend."
Cressa jumped off the dresser and moved to her
bag on the floor. "Yeah. I got that. I'm young
but I'm not stupid." She snarled.
"I never said you were stupid Cressa. And I
didn't know you had a problem with the ages." He
asked.
"I don't!" she snapped as she began walking
toward the door, she turned to glare at him. "That
seems to be YOUR hang up. You don't want to be
seen with me, FINE. You don't have to anymore. You
want those sleazy rats, GREAT!"
Cressa reached for the door, struggling with her
bag trying to leave when she heard Brian speak
again.
"I was saying good-bye to my girlfriend." He
repeated, "And hello to my wife."
Cressa's hand fumbled on the doorknob, before she
turned to look at him. Brian was standing in the
middle of the room as he waited for her to turn
around. He reached into his pocket and pulled out
a small velvet box. When Cressa didn't move he
walked toward her, taking the suitcase from her
hand he set it aside. She could only stare at him
as Brian opened the box and took out the ring
inside.
"I was hoping to do this with all the 'fairy
tale' details you like so much," he began holding out
the ring to her. "Maybe in front of the whole
damn locker room so I could watch you get flustered
and embarrassed and not be able to tell me no,
but I want you to be my wife."
Cressa looked down at the ring he held between
his thumb and forefinger, a delicate circle of
copper, gold, and silver had been shaped into leaves.
"I'm wasn't sure you wanted a old man like me."
Brian continued. "I know you've put up with more
shit from me than any woman should, and why
you've stayed with me . . . ."
"Because I'm in love with you." She interrupted
quietly. "You're not old Brian, I don't know how
many times I have to tell you that."
"Cressa, I'm almost 40 years old." He reminded
her. "So what!?" she asked. Brian reached out with
his other hand and ran his hand over her auburn
hair, "I love you so much." He breathed. "I know
the past few weeks . . ." when Brian say the
pain flash in her eyes he pulled her into his arms
to hold her tightly, sighing with relief when she
held on tightly.
"Why have you been pushing me away . . .when you
were . . ." she began, her voice filled with
hurt. "I was letting the talk get to me." He
admitted. "I was listening to the jealous idiots who
were just waiting for you to get tired of the 'old
man'."
"Talk?" she asked, pulling back to see his face.
"The guys were ribbing me, that you'd leave me
for someone younger, once you started to get
bored." Brian explained.
"That's why they've been ribbing you?" Cressa
exclaimed. She shook her head wearily when he
nodded. She reached up to touch his face, "You'd
think at your advanced age," she teased, "you'd know
better. And why is your jaw bruised?" she asked
heatedly, only able to notice the dark shadow
along his face, when she was up-close.
Brian stared at the floor for a minute, "Um . .
.'Taker and I sort of got into it." He mumbled.
"What?! Brian why would you fight with 'Taker,
he's like your best friend!" she exclaimed. Brian
huffed, "I thought he was hitting on you!" he
protested. "I saw him put his hands on you outside
the bar and . . ."
Cress clamped her hand over her mouth and began
giggling; when Brian snarled slightly at her
reaction she only laughed harder.
Brian sat down heavily on the edge of the bed
glaring at her. Cressa sat down on his lap and put
her arm around his shoulder. "You big dummy."
She informed him, kissing his cheek lightly. "I
just bumped into him, and he asked if I was
alright." She informed him.
"I know," Brian mumbled, sliding his arms around
her waist, pulling her closer he laid his head
against her shoulder. "He told me. But the idea
of anyone touching you . . ."
Cressa put her hand on his cheek to force him to
look at her, "Then I guess you better put that
ring on my finger." She advised. Brian looked down
at the ring still in his hand, and picked up her
left hand. Gently he slid the band on her
finger, and then entwined his fingers with hers. "Be
my wife?" He asked.
Cressa nodded as she smiled through her tears,
wrapping her arms around his neck tightly and
buried her face into his neck.
